SG1 Wolf Part 4: Home Sweet Home
by spookysister7
Summary: After being captured, Jack and the gang return through the gate, a very pregnent woman in tow. As she gives birth, what's going through Jack's head?
1. Explaining Libidinous

Wolf Part 4: Home Sweet Home

I fell through the gate behind Teal'c, barely keeping on my feet. The iris snapped shut behind me, and the gate shut down. I saw General Hammond's portly figure among the swarms of SF's and medics. Exhausted, I clumped heavily down the ramp to make my report.

"General, sorry we're late. Hit a little snag."

General Hammond looked me over, shaking his head.

"A little snag, Colonel? I'd say you hit a boulder. Report to the infirmary."

I was about to retort when I heard a quiet cry of pain and Daniel's panicked voice.

"Jack!" I turned quickly and sprinted up the ramp. Daniel held May's head in his lap, her limp body splayed across the metal ramp.

"What happened?" I asked, alarmed.

"I don't know! She just collapsed," Daniel said worriedly.

Dr. Frasier pushed me aside.

"How far along is she?" Frasier demanded.

"A few weeks!"

"What?!" Frasier asked, alarmed.

Daniel cut in, "The Gou'uld did something to accelerate the pregnancy."

"Well, I should say so! We've got to get this woman to the infirmary." Gesturing to the medic hovering a few feet away, Frasier whisked May off to the infirmary. Daniel, Teal'c and I fast on her heels.

We ran into Carter on our way to the infirmary. She looked frazzled, probably just hopped out of bed and raced to the mountain. She nodded to Teal'c and I with a smile of pleasure, hugged Daniel, and started on an unending list of questions, which Daniel did his best to answer as we walked.

We finally reached the infirmary, and Frasier raced in the examination room with her patient, ordering us to get checked out by Dr. Warner while she was gone.

Carter and Daniel sat on the edge of a bed, still chatting, T crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, and I sat heavily down in a hard plastic chair.

Dr. Warner's check-up was fast and thorough. We were all okay, as far as he could tell. A little undernourished, but not in too bad of shape. He took our blood, of course, and asked all the pertinent medical questions, to which I answered curtly.

I waited impatiently for Frasier to return. What was taking her so long? Finally, her small frame slipped out of the exam room.

"What's up, Doc?" I asked flippantly, hiding my concern.

Dr. Frasier frowned, never a good sign.

"She's alright. I had to clean her up a bit before I could examine her, but once I did, I discovered not a few disturbing facts. Are you aware that she's been violated, repeatedly?" Janet's voice lowered to a whisper, her face pinched in pain.

Daniel glanced over at me before responding.

"We know. One of the Jaffa…" Daniel didn't finish his sentence.

"He bragged about it?!" Janet asked indignantly.

"No. He did it, in front of us, as punishment," Daniel whispered, looking down at his hands.

"Punishment for what?"

Daniel mumbled under his breath, never looking up. I cut in, sparing him from having to say it aloud.

"For not raping her."

Janet gasped, looking at me with wide eyes. I continued.

"We all raped her. They gave us a drug that made us…" I fumbled for a better word than the one I was thinking.

"Libidinous?" Janet asked. I nodded. "So all three of you…" she didn't finish, looking ill.

"Yes," Daniel said softly, "we did."

-ooo-

Frasier ordered us to hit the showers before reporting to Hammond. We obeyed quickly, anxious to leave her recriminating gaze.

Carter was silent, disappearing back into her lab. I was frankly relieved. I didn't want to repeat the story more than once.

When all of SG-1 met General Hammond in the conference room, the briefing began. Carter repeated the part she knew, Daniel down, firefight, etc.

I took over from there, Daniel unnaturally silent.

"Libidinous, Colonel?" Hammond asked incredulously.

"The Gould was a breeder, Sir. We were just stock," I answered coolly.

"So, this, May, she is pregnant with whose child?"

"We have no way of knowing, Sir. It could be any of ours. It could be the Jaffa's. Heck, it could be anyone's!" My temper flared, my stomach rolling at the thought. Just how many men had she serviced before us? Tens? Hundreds?

Hammond frowned. "I'll have Dr. Frasier run DNA tests."

An airman burst in the door.

"Excuse me, Sirs. Dr. Frasier said the patient is awake and asking for you," the man said, looking at Daniel. Daniel sprinted out the door without a thought.

Hammond sighed and shook his head. I looked over at him expectantly.

"You're dismissed," Hammond said shortly.

The words were barely out of his mouth when I disappeared out the door.

-ooo-

May was in labor. I stood by her left side, Daniel on the right. Danny introduced Carter and the Doc. Carter looked near tears. I swallowed back a twinge of fear. May would be fine. She was in the best of care. I glanced up at Doc Frasier.

May cried out and clutched her protruding belly. Alarmed, I watched as Frasier shoved us away from the bed and barked orders. The nurses came pouring in with all sorts of equipment, sensors, and, yes, blankets.

We backed away, loosing sight of May. I heard May's voice, but couldn't make out what she was saying. Janet's strident voice broke over the organized chaos.

"Dr. Jackson!"

Daniel shoved his way through the nurses, a stream of apologies flowing as he pushed people aside.

I stood on my toes to try and see what was going on.

I saw Daniel pushing his way back through the crowd.

"Jack. She's in labor. She wants you."

I didn't say anything, heading towards her.

I reached her, returning to her side. She was sweating and pale, grunts of pain escaping her clenched teeth.

A cramp hit hard and she grabbed my hand, squeezing with surprising strength. I looked up and frowned at Janet, wondering why she hadn't given her any pain medication.

Janet was perched at the end of the bed, surgical gloves on, smock a pristine white.

May screamed and pushed, her body lifting from the bed. As she sank back onto the bed, I heard a sound that made my heart skip a beat. A baby cried. I looked up to see a tiny baby girl in the Doc's hands. My breath caught in my throat.

Frasier wrapped the bay in a pink blanket, handing her to her mother. May was a mother. I blinked back tears as she sobbed, looking down at our child. She was mine. Her brown eyes stared up at me, the few strands of brown hair on her head standing up in disorganized spikes.

I was a father. May looked up at me, smiling with the first true joy I had ever seen in her face. She handed me my daughter. I took her gently. My child. I looked back up at May.

"Lona," she whispered, still smiling.

I looked down at the baby, then back up at Daniel. Daniel whispered in the sudden quiet.

"Lona means light, Jack."

"Lona," I said quietly, playing with her tiny hand. I looked up at Daniel. "She's mine, isn't she?" I asked in wonder.

Daniel chuckled.

My heart returned to my throat as I heard May cry out again. I looked up to Dr. Frasier in alarm. What now?


	2. Good Guesses and Bad Dreams

A nurse took Lona from me as I hovered over May. Doctor Frasier worked furiously, and I gripped May's icy hand in my own. May screamed again, her hand compressing my fingers harder than I thought was possible.

A baby screamed. A boy. Doc Frasier held the tiny boy as he was wrapped in a soft blue blanket. She handed him to his mother.

May released my hand and held the child, gazing down at him, enraptured. The tiny puffs of dark hair swirled across his tiny head, and, as he opened his eyes for the first time, I could see that they were a stunning dark blue.

I was barely able to glimpse his eyes before May yanked him to her chest, bending her body around him in a protecting and secretive embrace. I could only watch in confusion as sobs wracked her body, the lamenting wails emerging from the protective cocoon she had become. She muttered plaintively in her language, and I looked to Daniel for translation.

"My child, who will provide for you?" Daniel whispered, translating. He looked up at me. "Braoin means sorrow. She's named him Sorrow."

I shook my head. No child was sorrow. It didn't matter that this child was not mine, was, in fact, probably the Jaffa's, he would still be loved.

I reached down and gently pried the child from his mother's arms. May looked alarmed, her face damp and red with tears. She cried out to me, and, although Daniel didn't translate, I knew she was concerned I would hurt him.

As I looked into his innocent, wide blue eyes, I came up with the perfect name.

"Owen," I said quietly, looking up at May for approval. Owen had been a friend of mine as a child, and I had always liked the name. I only hoped it was appropriate. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I hoped May would approve.

She gasped slightly, looking both confused and oddly pleased. Although she shook her head, I knew she liked the name.

I looked to Daniel, but he bent over May speaking gently to her. Whatever he said seemed to please her, and she fell asleep almost immediately.

As a nurse took Owen to the nursery, or whatever accommodations they had thrown together for the unusual presence of newborns, I looked to Daniel for after-the-fact translation. He was always better at the people stuff than me, although I would never tell him that.

Daniel had that look on his face, the one that said 'Jack, for someone so stupid, you sure can do some things right'.

"What?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.

"Jack, do you have any idea what the name Owen means?"

I shifted uncomfortably, "Uh, Good Friend?" I guessed.

Daniel gave me one of those patented exasperated glares, "It means Fortunate One."

I thought about it for a second and then grinned, "So, it's good, right?"

Daniel rolled his eyes and left.

"What'd I say?" I asked, trailing after him.

-ooo-

After my third pass by the infirmary in less than two hours, Janet waved me in.

"Colonel, when's the last time you slept?" she asked accusingly.

"Last night," I responded defensively, hands in my pockets.

"Colonel, you arrived here at five in the morning. I doubt very seriously that you slept before making your great escape."

"Okay, so maybe the night before last," I said, shrugging and leaning against the wall, well aware of what she was getting at.

"Colonel, you need to rest. I'm going to give you something…"

"No!" I said- surprised at the volume it came out. I concentrated on controlling my voice before I repeated myself. "No, Doctor, I don't need anything to help me sleep," I said with forced tranquility.

"Colonel O'Neill, as your doctor I am ordering you to stand still and take it like a man," she stated firmly.

"Doctor, and I use the term loosely, you know I don't react well to sleep aids, and I'd appreciate you minding your own business!" The volume of my voice rose again and I made no effort to stop it. She matched me decibel for decibel.

"Your health _is_ my business, COLONEL, and I would appreciate it if you would lower your tone!" Janet's voice was firm, and I knew I had already lost the battle. "This is a new drug, and it shouldn't cause a reaction," she said as she injected me with the already prepared syringe.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Now, go to sleep!" Janet commanded, pointing to the door.

"Napoleonic power monger," I muttered as I left obediently, hands deep in my pockets and head hanging.

I shuffled down the hallway, deep in thought. Pie sounded good, but I could already feel the drug pulling me down. Besides, that would make four pieces in one night. The door to my on-base room appeared none too soon, and I barely stripped to my skivvies before collapsing into the bed.

-ooo-

_I was back in Club Med. The head guard, Mohammad, had us paraded out, bound, into the courtyard. The other guards stood watch over us as a woman and her two small children were dragged before us. One guard held the struggling infants as the woman was thrown at Mo's feet. She stood slowly, quaking._

I grabbed her by the throat, pressing her against the courtyard wall.

_Mo asked her something, something about her husband and betrayal, she shook her head._

I asked her again, my grip around her throat tightening. She shook her head again, eyes wide.

_He raised his hand, took the collar of her tattered garment, and_

ripped the fragile gown off her body, leaving her naked. I pulled her up off the ground, her feet dangling, scrambling to reach

_the loose sand of the desert piled beneath her. She wrapped her hands around his wrist, taking the weight, and her nails_

bit into my skin, crescents of dull pain.

_She spoke then, forcing out each word, begging him not to kill her, for the sake of the_

"children! Please!" she begged. I released my grip, allowing her to fall to her knees on the

_yellow desert sand. Mo said something to her then and her eyes flicked to her children._

"I'll kill the children," I said, "unless…"

_She looked appalled, and then resigned. She nodded, staring at_

my boxers. I paused, as if

_thinking, feigning a deliberation to draw out the fun as long as possible. She kept her eyes down, submissive. When he moved, it was quickly._

I plastered her against the wall; hand around her forearm, groping for the waistband of my boxers. I threw her down on

_the piles of yellow sand, pressing her into_

the bed with the weight of my body, my hands roaming over her body with

_deliberate harshness, his voice whispering cruelly. The woman cried out as we turned away, begging him not to kill her children. As she fell silent, I turned to look. His hand was over her mouth and she no longer struggled. She was_

dieing. Her blue eyes rolled back under my hand. I released her and shoved her away in one quick movement.

"Leave!" I cried, her glazed brown eyes staring at me, "Leave!!!" I shouted at the nightmare apparition. And, once again, she was gone.

I collapsed back into bed, pausing only long enough to locate my MIA boxers before surrendering, once again, to my nightmares.


	3. Escape

I stumbled towards the infirmary, bleary-eyed and exhausted. I half-leaned against the doorframe, rubbing back the film that seemed to creep over my eyes at every slow blink. I ran a weary hand through my short, mussed hair. I sighted the doc in the far corner, talking quietly to Danny.

"Doc!" I creaked out, my voice sounding rusty and disused. Daniel and Doc Frasier sprinted over. I must have looked worse than I thought.

Daniel took me by the arm, leading me towards the nearest bed. I yanked my arm away, turning to Frasier.

"No side effects! I am _ordering_ you to NEVER give me that drug again! Am I making myself clear, _Doctor_?" My hands flew around as I talked, physically illustrating my lack of control and irritation.

Dr. Frasier looked taken aback for a moment, but, as usual, recovered quickly. She grabbed my wrist, taking in my racing pulse. I snatched my hand away, glaring at her in a mix of resentment and betrayal. Her eyes flickered over to Daniel. He gave her one of his, 'I'll handle this' looks, which I also resented. At last, with a slightly forlorn glance in my direction, Dr. Frasier departed, no doubt to her office to try and recover.

Without a word, Daniel pulled me farther in the infirmary, literally cornering me.

"Jack…" Daniel started quietly. I interrupted him.

"She had no right to give me that!" I rasped out, my voice a dry whisper. Daniel's hand rested on my arm.

"Jack, we understand. That drug will not be used again."

"You don't understand! It made me relive…" I cut myself off, falling silent.

"Jack?" Daniel asked, bending down to look in my downcast eyes. "What did you see?"

"Doesn't matter," I muttered quietly.

"Please, tell me. So I can understand why you're so upset," Daniel insisted, pulling me to May's bedside chairs. She was still asleep, and I reluctantly sat, turning my chair towards the exit, facing Daniel.

I paused for a moment, distancing myself. I had decided to tell him. Maybe he was right. Maybe it would help. Maybe it would keep her away.

"It was my second month. Thirty-six days in. The main guard was a sadist, of course. They all were, but he was the worst. He brought in a woman and her two kids. Her husband had done something the guard didn't like. We were tied up, forced outside, and shoved to our knees. We couldn't help. He raped her, then killed her and her children."

Daniel's face was drawn in pain, his eyes intensely sympathetic. I looked down once again, trying to keep my tenuous control.

"All she did was beg him. Begged him to please not kill her children," my voice broke on children and I tried to memorize the cracks on the tile floor, Daniel's compassionate eyes burning through me. I ran my hand through my tangled grey-silver hair.

An icy hand captured my wrist, barely encircling it, but grasping with bruising, desperate force. Daniel and I looked up at May in surprise.

"Promesa. Please," she begged, her eyes wide and frantic.

My heart leapt into my throat. Oh, God, no! It couldn't… I couldn't…

I shook my head, frenetically trying to fling the idea from my brain. I yanked away from her iron grip and stumbled quickly from the infirmary, escaping.

I heard Daniel's quick footfalls behind me. I changed gears, now at a full run, dodging confused airmen as I ran for the elevator. I had to escape, get out, get away. I had to think.

The doors to the elevator opened as I reached it. I leapt in, slamming the doors-shut button as Daniel's slim figure appeared down the corridor. The door crept shut, my finger pressing the button with increasing force as Daniel drew closer.

The doors were almost closed when Daniel's fingers wrapped themselves around the cold metal, forcing it open once again. He slipped in and the traitorous doors slid shut silently behind him. We were alone.

"Jack, we need to talk."

"State the obvious much, Daniel?" I asked sarcastically, unsuccessfully hiding my fear.

Daniel slammed down the emergency stop button.

"Jack, what the devil happened?!" Daniel shouted.

"It wasn't a nightmare!" I screamed back, pinning him against the elevator wall, my forearm across his throat. I kept him pinned there as the words poured out of my mouth, "She wasn't a dream! Don't you understand?! I was him!" I dropped my arm, releasing him.

He gasped and coughed as he caught his breath, "Jack…"

"No, Daniel, no excuses, no analysis. Just… leave me be." I hit the button and we waited in silence. The elevator chimed as it reached the top floor. I left Daniel standing there as I marched determinedly to the exit. To escape.

-ooo-

I could see the warm yellow glow of a Fall morning not far ahead. Almost out, I stopped short at the sound of emergency sirens. As 2IC, I had a responsibility. I turned, snatching the red phone off the wall, men scurrying like organized roaches around me.

I listened impatiently, slamming the phone in its cradle as I turned back towards the exit. The dog handlers arrived first, German Shepherds straining at their leashes. We waited for the other men to deploy along the perimeter.

Finally, the word was given. The search downstairs had uncovered nothing more. We were deployed. The dogs barked, eager to be on their way. We started on a good pace towards the main gate, where I assumed May would go, trying to escape. Fear drove me forward. She was an alien on this planet, with two tiny children. If she had made it up the access ladder, which I prayed continually for, she was exhausted. I knew she wouldn't give up, though. I was troubled by the thought, however, that she might take too many risks, push too far, too fast. This was a mountain, there were outcroppings, steep, slippery slopes… wolves. My heart clenched at the thought of finding them at the bottom of the access tube, the bottom of a cliff…

Static burst from my radio and then, a shot. "Negative! No shooting! I repeat, non-lethal force!" I screamed into my radio, running full-out towards the sound of the shot. The dogs barked and snarled behind me, excited by the speed. The handlers shouted orders, pulling back on the leashes.

We ran up one last hill and I froze at the sight of May's body, covered in dark mud, sprawled on the ground, the airman's gun still aimed at her. The dogs leapt past me, kept inches away from her body by the sheer will-power of their keepers.

The airman holstered his sidearm and raised her by the arm from the mud. My heart resumed its beat as she glared at me through the dirty, dripping strands of her hair, her free arm encircled protectively around our children. She had ingeniously formed a makeshift sling to carry them in.

I approached them, the children wailing loudly. The sound filled my heart. They were alive. They were alright. May glared at me, meeting my eyes with mother-bear force. I heard Dr. Frasier's strident tones ascending the small hill, still barking orders to her medics.

"Perro!" May shouted at me, and my eyes opened in surprise. A dog, huh? What happened to Wolf? I liked that better… sort of.

I frowned and moved towards her. Dog or no dog, I wanted Doc Frasier to check out the kids. They were too young to be out in the cold like this. May needed to be checked out too, but I knew she was okay. Anyone that could glare like that…

May looked ready to bolt again. "Airman, I need to get the kids checked out, hold her for a minute."

"Yes, Sir," the kid said obediently, pulling May's arm gently behind her and holding her still. I saw May pull, but he held his own. I tried to reassure her with my gaze, but she wasn't going to be reassured. I lifted Lona and Owen from her, handing them carefully to Dr. Frasier. The doctor wrapped them in soft blankets she had prepared.

Someone cried out a warning. I turned back to May, shocked to see her leaping at me. Caught off-guard, her weight knocked me on my back, air rushing out of me in a huff. She punched me then, in the face, in the stomach, chest, arm, anywhere she could reach. I didn't fight back. It didn't hurt bad, I'd certainly had worse, but it was the emotion behind it that got me. She wanted to hurt me, and I couldn't blame her. Her words hurt the worst. Dog, SOB, snake, hawk? I wasn't sure what hawk was, but by her tone, he was worst of all.

She was yanked off me, still flailing. Dr. Frasier shot her with something. She only got one last curse out before collapsing.

Killer of children.

She couldn't have known…

I stood, turned, and walked quickly to my truck. I took off. Not towards home, not to Sara, but to the child I had killed.


	4. Her Side

I sat by Charlie's grave for a very long time, until the cold wind ate through my sorrow. Never good at emotions, I reverted back to my habitual silence. I didn't answer the phone when Daniel called. I sat up late, drowning the emotions in alcohol. I fell asleep on my couch.

I awoke with a hangover, a neck ache, and no idea what to do. I spent that weekend on my roof, drinking beer, and stronger, and staring blankly at the betraying stars. Sunday night, I was sober. I knew that I had to go back. Maybe I could avoid her, let her go on with her life. Maybe we could find her people… My heart clenched, and I was surprised. I knew it would be hard to have my children leave; I had already bonded with them, but worse still was the thought of May leaving.

I drove up the mountain, my brain on autopilot as I made my way through the layers of the base, silent in the dead of night. I approached the isolation room. I got as far as the doorway before stopping. She was asleep. I took a few steps in, and stopped. They had her in restraints. I resisted the urge to free her. In the morning, I would order Janet to remove them. She was not a threat, except to me. And I would stay out of her way. My hand twitched to touch her, but I turned and left. It was better for her this way.

-ooo-

I visited her every night. She wouldn't eat, and Janet wouldn't let the kids see her until she ate. It seemed to be a never-ending cycle. I tried to explain to Janet that I was the reason she had attacked, that she wasn't crazy. Janet believed me enough to release the restraints, but apparently not enough to risk the children. Daniel promised he told May that the children were fine every day, but she never ate, never moved from her fetal position on the bed.

Except at night. At night she squirmed and moaned, tears escaping her closed and frantically moving eyes. It had been almost two weeks, and she was on the verge of starving. Janet was pumping fluids and liquid something or other, but without eating, only so much could be done. May was as pale as the bed sheets, her skeletal arms flailing in the grips of another nightmare. I came to her side, hoping, somehow, my presence would comfort her. She moaned loudly, and my hand moved on its own, stroking across her forehead.

"Shh. It's okay," I whispered illogically, hoping the tone, if not the words, would be a comfort to her. She stilled and her eyes fluttered. I backed away, hoping I could leave before she awoke, hoping not to worsen her condition. It was selfish of me to come. I paused in the doorway, needing to look at her one more time. Her blue eyes stared at me, for a second seemingly needy. She closed her eyes and turned over, curling up once again. I left.

-ooo-

Doctor Frasier thought it was time to bring in a psychiatrist. I hated to agree, but it was obvious that May needed some help. I went along with it, digging up a female doctor with the right clearance. I only threw on the brakes when Janet told me it was a package deal.

"What do you mean I have to come too? Weren't you there the last time she saw me? You really think my presence is going to be helpful?"

"Colonel, she's barely strong enough to sit up, I doubt if she will attack you again. And, yes, it is important that you be there. Like it or not, you're probably the best support she's got."

My jaw dropped in shock at Janet's words. "Support? Are you crazy?! If anyone can help, it'd be Daniel, not me!"

"Daniel's coming too. But I need you there, Colonel. For both your sakes." Doctor Frasier took off on that note, leaving me gaping in the hallway as her short figure disappeared down the corridor.

-ooo-

I took a seat in the corner, back to the wall. I squirmed uncomfortably in the hard plastic chair, eyes on the door. The new headshrinker entered first, looking exactly like her photo. Medium height, medium weight, brown hair, hazel eyes.

Then May was pushed in by Daniel. She seemed thinner sitting up. She looked listlessly around the room, her eyes skipping anxiously over me as she was pushed in front of the shrink. Daniel took the seat next to May, holding her hand as he sat. A flare of jealousy shot through me, quickly suppressed as the shrink's sharp eyes darted in my direction.

We jumped right into it, the shrink explaining that she was going to hypnotize May so that she would be calm and obliging to our questions. Daniel tried to translate for May, but she wasn't listening.

After the shrink had done her flashy light thing, she started to ask questions in English. I opened my mouth to remind her that this woman was an _alien_ and therefore did not speak English, when May surprised us all by answering.

Daniel and I looked like bookends, mouths hanging open in shock as May conversed with no trouble. In fact, she barely had an accent!

I heard Lobo and started listening. Daniel whispered a quick explanation to the shrink that I was Lobo, at least to May. I was a bit perturbed to find out that I had changed May's name from "Mother" to "Bitter". I certainly hadn't intended to. I opened my mouth to explain, but the shrink cut me off, shaking her head.

Then May shocked us all. Why did she think the kids were dead? Daniel told her…

"Lobo killed them."

Oh, God. I swallowed back bile. She thinks I could… I did… Why? When did I tell her I would? When did I even act like…

"That night."

I paled. Oh, God! After all the confusion, I had almost forgotten the details of the nightmare. Why had she come that night?! Why did she come at all?!

"For Owen."

Owen? Useful? What the heck?! I thought she'd be happy that I'd love Owen like my own son, not think that he was some kind of trade for "services". But, then, why wouldn't she. I'd certainly treated her like…

There was that word… name? ... again. Hawk? She called me that when… Oh, God. It was what she named that Jaffa. No wonder she said it with such distain. The Hawk and the Wolf. Great. Both of us were carnivores, relentlessly stalking our prey. So much for a friendly nickname.

"A long time."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as I heard her words. She had been a prisoner for a while, then. And we… we were not the first to receive her services. I half-hoped she had already been a slave, already been used, that her capture was just a trade of masters… not the complete destruction of a free soul.

Her quest for power interested me. She thought I was the most powerful one here. I nearly snickered at the shrink's pregnant pause, but any faint humor was slammed aside by May's next words.

"I was cleaning the blackboard."

Oh, God, she's younger than I thought. If she was a student… Then she was a child herself. My stomach churned, suddenly ill. The shrink asked the question I was dreading.

"Were you a student?"

"No. I was almost a teacher, like my mother. I was about to get my first class."

I almost sighed in relief. At least she was old enough to be a teacher. I frowned. But that meant she was free. No slave, no servant, but an educated human being. Somehow, her education made it worse. She knew freedom, right and wrong… respect.

"You were captured then?" the shrink asked.

"No." May stated simply.

"No? What happened?"

"I ran. I escaped through the coal vent."

"What did Halcon do?"

"They chased me. I hid in a tree. They found me."

And in that short, summary statement, I knew she was a fighter. God! Running from the Jaffa! Most people would have given in, been meekly led away. It couldn't have helped her situation to have tried to escape.

As she continued describing her capture, torture, and rape at the hands of the Gou'uld, my face grew steadily harder. She had been through so much, and, although I wanted to blame it all on the Gou'uld, I knew that I, myself, had hurt her just as badly.

When May started to describe the rapes, someone called Dr. Frasier in. I knew she had to listen, had to know what to watch out for in treatment, but as I watched the steady trail of tears roll down her face, I wished that at least one of us did not have to live with the memories. My eyes drifted to Daniel, his face green and supremely ill, his innocent mind now clouded with a few of the vulgarities of life.

A lot of things were explained as she spoke: her fear of showering, her eating habits, her need to be useful, sexually. That 'Hawk' had done a number on her. I looked away as she described her first violation, my stony gaze firmly on the wall, her silhouette floating ethereally across the ceiling.

I forced my eyes to May, her serene repetition of atrocity after atrocity, all summarized and bland in her bare, unadorned tale. Her face the picture of pale indifference- having lived through the reality, the playback was merely a cold comparison. Her increasingly scratchy voice trailed off as I watched, concluding her monologue with…

"And then I followed Daniel through the ring of water."

The shrink turned on the lights, brought May out of her spell, and gestured to Dr. Frasier to wheel her back.

I felt May's eyes skitter across my face, but I couldn't look. If she saw the hate in my eyes, I knew she'd think it was toward her. She wouldn't understand that it was turned inward… turned towards me.


	5. Almost

I watched as the doc delivered our children.

I stood just outside the doorway, listening to the happy sounds of mother and children being reunited. I could not resist leaning in the doorway, soaking in the sounds, the sight, of my children and their mother.

May. My heart softened at the sight of the tears on her face. I wanted to go to her, be with her and my children. I almost went, almost left the safety of my shadowed doorway.

Then she looked up. Her blue eyes met mine, confused, happy, and hesitant. She almost… My breath caught in my throat and I turned away, the sound of my boots in the empty hallway not quite drowning out Owen's quiet cry.

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Please continue to Wolf Part 5!


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